It’s just a week short of 2 months since I cut my hair. When I look at my reflection, I no longer have to stare for a minute or longer to process ‘wow, that’s really me.’ Today, the girl staring back — or is she a woman, now?— is still a curious figure, but I like her vibe. As I’d hope, walking in this new hair has taught me quite a bit about womanhood and life in general. I thought I’d share…
(You’ll also see I snuck in more photos from my awesome shoot with Tonjanika Smith Photography).
1. Short hair doesn’t make you any less of a woman
As a society, we put such a premium on very long hair on women. Particularly in the black community, a black woman with naturally long hair is considered a prized, most desirable rarity. I admit when I had long hair, it was at best a source of my confidence, and at worst, fuel for my ego. I don’t know who put it in our heads as little girls that long hair is best, and short hair needs to become long hair for the wearer to be truly beautiful and feminine. But many of us take this belief with us into adulthood and feel less with less. We are talking hair here people! I’m grateful for the quiet confidence that knows that womanhood isn’t defined by a hair style or length:
Womanhood is an essence. A journey.
2. You realize the self-limiting thoughts you had about changing
“I could never cut my hair.” “I have a funny-shaped head.” “My forehead is too big to pull that off.” “But I’d have to start all over.” “I’d look like *insert some undesirable thing.*” It’s one thing to have a genuine satisfaction/preference for how you look, and another to want change, but put yourself in a box because you’re afraid of other people’s judgments – and your own. That’s the space I was in sometime last year. A friend of mine cut her hair and I was so in love with how it looked on her. I wanted to try short hair, too, but felt I could never be as daring. I was scared of changing, thinking I had ‘too much’ to lose. (Such drama)!
I hope that when (inner) growth and change calls our name, we take a little less time to say ‘yes.’ What would happen if we walked into new possibilities for ourselves, in spite of the fear?
3. Do people’s opinions really matter that much?
While the reception of my hair has been overwhelmingly positive, it doesn’t phase me much because it was I who decided to cut my hair and would take full responsibility for however it turned out – even it turned out horribly. Because I didn’t cut it for anybody else but me and did it in my own timing, external opinions good or bad mean less to me. Whatever hairstyle resonates most with you internally, is what you’ll be able to wear proudly. And I believe that’s the exuded confidence that makes a look ‘work.’
4. Being able to stand under the showerhead everyday and feel the water against your scalp is highly underrated. Not having to ever really detangle your hair is simple bliss.
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